Look Back -The Joy of Creation

I've never been the creative kind of person

I never honed that skill in my life, I always quit out of frustration and always scared that I was wasting my time. I tried stuff like taking guitar classes for some time but when it comes to drawing I never really put any actual time into it to actually learn the craft. Playing video games was the thing that came natural to me and thus they were and still are my main hobby.

Thinking back to my childhood I probably needed to find that spark that would’ve kept me motivated to pursue these activities and actually get over myself and learn to be better. Who knows, maybe at the time this movie could’ve been that spark.

Look Back

The first thing most of you will probably think when you hear the name Tatsuki Fujimoto, is Chainsaw Man, since it’s the work that has recently launched him into the stratosphere in the west. Over the last 10 years though, the man has produced a lot of one-shot mangas and between all of these, Look Back has been chosen to get an anime adaptation and has recently came out on Amazon Prime. I am not familiar with those manga so I can’t say for sure that this was the best choice overall for an adaptation, but it becomes that, when put in context of the time that we are living right now when it comes to art.

The movie opens with a child called Ayumu Fujino, sitting at her desk drawing a short manga soon to be published in the school’s paper. She has a lot of pride in her work and she’s admired for it by the other kids in her class. This all changes one day when another girl, Kyomoto, joins the school paper to also draw her own manga shorts. Fujino is struck by the fact that Kyomoto is already way ahead of her in ability and this starts to fuel a feeling of rivalry that would eventually blossom in a great friendship. The movie follows their lives from elementary school up to adulthood.

They really did a wonderful job with Fujino's arc in encapsulating what it means to be an artist.

From the beginning being all cocky and loving all the praise for her work, to the crushing reality she ends up being faced with once she realizes that there is someone out there who’s already outshining her and the chase to reach her level. That one critique by his own schoolmate that puts into discussion every other praise she’s ever received combined with the complete lack of support by her friends and family during her year of grind and exercise in order to reach the same level as Kyomoto, eventually lead her into giving up on drawing completely.

That moment when Fujino just gives up is heart wrenching, because you can see that whatever she’s doing now it’s not what she really wants to do, she’s just been dragged into this because her insecurities got the better of her and everyone around her instead of supporting her just tells her to stop drawing and move on, and that’s when Kyomoto’s presence becomes so vital for her.

Being agoraphobic Kyomoto has been studying from home and never attended school, she’s been taking on drawing as a way to pass and that being her only hobby she has dedicated a lot of time to it, when you first see her house the first thing they show you is the rows of stacked sketchbooks that she has worked on all over the years, making it pretty clear where her skill as an artist comes from. She joined the school paper because Fujino’s work was inspiring to her, she loved her stories and thus she looked up to her as kind of a teacher.

The moment they get to finally meet is just so adorable. Kyomoto is pouring her soul to Fujino which is completely gobsmacked while still trying to play it cool and cocky like she usually does, only for Fujino to immediately bolt home as fast as possible because she needs to start drawing again. And that moment really underlines what it actually means being supportive, Kyomoto actually read all of her manga, remembered them, had favorites and even noticed how much her art did improve during that long period of constant grind. Hers weren’t empty compliments like the ones from her family or teachers who just saw some child scribbles.

Their friendship is genuine and I love seeing them working together and supporting each other. Not only Kyomoto is essential for Fujino’s growth but Fujino is also helping her in battling her own agoraphobia and seeing the world outside and all their adventures together are also the main source of their stories.

And their supportive nature continues after graduation when Kyomoto decides to leave Fujino’s side to walk her own path at the art faculty. Fujino is taken aback by her sudden decision and doesn’t want them to get separated, but at the end she understands that she needs to let her follow her own dreams which are not necessarily the same as hers.

The movie tells this story with a lot of montages going through years in their life and they do a really damn good job in conveying a lot without many dialogues, from the initial grind, the insecurities, the moments of fun and inspiration throughout their friendship. This is also captured perfectly by a great soundtrack by Haruka Nakamura, it’s mostly soothing piano and violins but they also manage to be powerful and emotional, they carry this movie wonderfully.

The animation is also incredible, since the first minute you see the movie pulling off some really impressive shots and the moments of energy are captured wonderfully. The characters are also really expressive, Fujino in particular has some really fun expressions. The lineart also was really light and a bit scratchy at times, it gave you really the impression of seeing a drawn page coming to life.

The best scene was when they animated one of Fujino’s strips and they made it look like an eight year old had the opportunity to make their first ever cartoon, and to those who know the craft can see that despite her being so young she already has a great understanding of composition even before all her grind starts. I loved every second of that segment.

Another great segment was Fujino walking home after meeting with Kyomoto, the scene is built up and composed wonderfully, starts with Fujino walking slowly looking at the ground and then the more she realized what just happened she keep getting happier and happier, jumping along the road, kicking the puddles, fistbumping the air and finally sprinting back home. This scene has so much energy and you really feel it just watching Fujino finally find that spark, that sense of validation for pursuing her passion that no one else but Kyomoto was able to give her.

I want to talk about this movie some more but unfortunately I cannot do that without going into spoilers, so I beg of you please, go watch this movie and really pay attention to what it has to say. This movie is important not only to aspiring artists that are going through the struggle of getting better but it’s especially important for those who’ve never been creative, to understand that there’s nothing like talent, just cold hard grind and work, motivation and especially passion for your craft.

This message is also really important in a time like this where art is considered just as some content to be fed and regurgitated to an AI model just for people to take shortcuts. I also loved that the movie literally has a screenshot that has a tip to get better at drawing just says..

“DRAW! YOU IDIOT!”

So really go watch this movie and get back to me later to tell me what you thought about it, for everyone else that wants to hear more, follow me to the….

SPOILER SECTION - Proceed at your own risk

The gut punch arrives with Kyomoto’s death. A person took the academy by storm with an ax and killed four of the students. Fujino gets completely wrecked by this news and she returns to Kyomoto’s home sitting in front of the door to her own room. It is at that moment that Fujino realizes that if she never actually met Kyomoto, then she would’ve probably never gone to the art faculty and she would be still alive. But is it really her fault?

The answer to this is a sort of what if scenario, where we see what actually would’ve happened, and nothing would’ve changed. Kyomoto already loved being an artist, she already was dedicating mind and soul to that, even without Fujino her path would’ve still led her there because it’s what she loved the most.

A funny twist about this, is that we actually see an alternate Fujino saving Kyomoto from being killed and once the two actually meet Kyomoto basically reacts the same way as she did as a child, when then she asks Fujino “Why did you stop drawing?” Fujino tells her that she has restarted and if he needs some help for the project she will call her. In the end, even Fujino could’ve never completely given up on drawing.

I love the message that once passion is that strong for some people you really cannot turn them away from the things that they love, Kyomoto’s death is a tragedy but would’ve been even more of a tragedy to deprive them of the means to follow that passion and urge to create, just keep her safe.

The final montage really puts the nail in it. It opens with Fujino venting a bit of frustration with their work as a professional manga artist, and an unknown voice asks her “Why do you do it then?” and the answer is a collection of all the moments that she spent with Kyomoto during the work on their first ever manga together. Not just the memories of them drawing, but all the other special moments between them that have forged their lifelong connection.

So the movie closes down just as it started, with a shot of Fujino drawing with a memento of Kyomoto watching her from above.

I absolutely loved this movie, and it came out at the perfect time to remind everyone that is willing to listen, the value that comes into creating something for yourself and trying to constantly better yourself along the way. And this is not just when it comes to art, it can be used for everything: music, crafting, writing.. Just start doing that thing that you love and maybe you’re putting back for whatever reason.

And who knows you might find that spark of joy that would let you keep moving despite everything.

Art by AshesForDreams